Holidaymakers on the beach of the Tajik Sea. 1975. Photo by D.Simchenko/ TASS
“i. my god, you were so beautiful. from the first day I laid eyes on you, I couldn’t believe that you were all mine. honey eyes, full lips and a button nose. your hair—you had to cut it all off, but I watched you anyway. I was always so nervous, you were way too pretty for me. Your head in my lap, your head on my pillow, your head on my shoulder, such a sight to see.
ii. your voice, so gentle, could lull an angel to sleep. I could listen for days on end, with your hand to my face as you whispered that you couldn’t stop thinking about me. the sound went through my ears and sent a sensation down my body. you never heard me say I love you, I was too afraid to tell you. I’ll never know if my silence was the right call.
iii. your hair was as soft as silk. my fingertips slipped through with ease. your fingers tangled in mine, your finger gliding down my body softly, your body pressed up against mine on my living floor, my body tousled in your bedsheets. I could touch you forever, I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon.
iv. your kiss created a meadow of wildflowers in my chest, but this is no time for metaphors. I wish I could’ve drank you up just a little while longer, but at times your taste still lingers in my mouth. you taste like everything I’ve ever loved, chocolate, fresh mango, blue raspberries, like everything sweet that my mother never warned me about.
v. you smelled like morning dew and I thought I could love you forever. my nose moving down your body, your nose nuzzling in my neck as you left soft kisses. your scent lingered in every inch of the room when you left and every time it rains I think of you. sometimes I still smell you in open spaces and my heart races, wondering if you’re around, but you never are. I never know if I’m happy or disappointed.”
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